Adult Hide And Seek Leauge

This needs to exist in real life. I would certainly join the Sherlock Holmies.

Anytime I'm in an elevator and it makes a jerk or sound that is different than normal, I immediately expect the worst. I park on the 6th floor, but I don't normally take the elevator in the parking structure at my work... partially due to the fact that I'm trying to get in better shape so I park all the way at the top and take the stairs and partially due to the fact that it makes all sorts of weird jerks and screeches. On Friday I was walking out to the parking structure and I saw a co-worker of mine with her arms full of empty boxes trying to hit the button for the elevator. I thought I'd give her a hand and hit the button. To further assist her I entered the elevator when the doors opened so I could select her floor for her too. I figured, I may as well take the elevator now since I'm already on it. We got to her floor at level 3, she exited and all seemed normal. The moment the doors closed behind her, BANG, the elevator jerked upwards like it have been hit from below by something. I pass floor 4 with weird grinding sounds. Floor 5. Grind and squealing. As we approach the 6th floor the elevator slows down. Way down. It seemed as though the elevator was scratching and clawing it's way up the last few feet. BANG. The elevator came to a stop and the doors began to open. Very slowly. I noticed that the elevator had not quite made it all the way up, it was about 4 or 5 inches lower than the floor. I jumped out as quickly as possible and vowed to never use the elevator again.

During this adventure, my eyes were affixed to the inspection certificated displayed on the elevator. Yup, it expired 6 months ago.

Culinary Conundrum

The commercial for DiGiorno oven pizzas slogan goes; "It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno." That's just annoying. I don't know anyone who would confuse an oven baked pizza for a pizza delivered from a pizza parlor. I want to open a chain of pizza parlors that cooks DiGiorno pizzas and delivers them. It's DiGiorno AND delivery. I'm pretty sure if that happened a black hole would form the moment the front door was opened.

Have you ever wondered what kind of footwear a Native American would wear on a job interview? Well wonder no more. Here we have the dress moccasin. Sure, you want to use every part of the animal, but that doesn't mean that you want to sacrifice style and professionalism.

 

Real Men Wear Cardigans.

Here is an exerpt from Esquire Magazine's style article called "This Is Not Steve McQueen".

The Shawl-Collar Cardigan

A shawl collar is the only manly way to do a cardigan. Midway between knitwear and tailoring, it offers all the versatility a man of action requires. Layer it with a T-shirt or turtleneck or sub it in for a blazer when company calls, but don’t ever let a woman try it on. You’ll never get it back.

Here are actual photos of Mr. McQueen himself wearing the heck out of cardigans.

Alexander Graham Bell Would Be Disappointed

There is no denying that mobile phones are almost an essential piece of equipment these days. I have a newish phone in order to, as they say, stay connected. I did a bit of research prior to selecting this phone. I went with a brand that I've had a few times before since I have had very few problems with their mobile phones in the past. You'd expect a new device to function properly - this is after all why I would buy something new instead of looking for a used product. Though in the case of this particular model, it's a disaster.
The phone is an attractive looking one. It's got all of the features that I was looking for. I wanted a phone that had push-button keys rather than the full-on touch screen only keys since the touch screens tend to find it hard to identify my fingers. I don't know if it's because my finger tips are completely calloused over from playing guitar or if they just doesn't like me. I went with the slidey type phone that also has touch screen capabilities since the flip-style has been just about phased out entirely. I'm not sure why people prefer this slidey phones. It's almost like a sliding rear door on a van as opposed to the standard open and close door. No one I know prefers the sliding rear door. To the best of my knowledge I don't mingle with any kidnappers. Though that might make my house parties more interesting. "Aw, you've spilled wine on my ransom note!"
Now, with any new technology you'd expect some glitches. Perhaps the internet connectivity? Nope, it's spot on. Perhaps the touch screen? Wrong again, it works quite well even with my fingerprintless digits. It's the buttons. Yes, a technology that has been around since the early 1960's. Push buttons on a phone seems like a difficult thing to get wrong. You see, when I press a key while texting or dialing it either doesn't register that I've pressed a button, or it thinks that I've pressed it two or three times. "I'm on my way"? Surely you meant "Iimonnn y wway". As if this collapse in functionality of the phone wasn't bad enough, the alarm feature also is rubbish. Setting the alarm is easy as pie. You set the alarm putting at ease your anxiety of forgetting something or being late. Then you wake up at 7:15 AM to realize that your alarm didn't go off at all and you're scrambling to get ready for work. It seems that if you do not turn the phone off and on every few days, it disregards any alarms that you've set. The only thing that is preventing me from smashing the phone into the wall is probably because I'm running late as the alarm has failed to sound and I just don't have the time to when I think to do it.

Nerd Alert

My work is hosting an early screening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 on Thursday the 18th at 6:00 PM. Pretty amazing! Sure beats standing in line for hours to go to a midnight showing 6 hours later.