Anytime I'm in an elevator and it makes a jerk or sound that is different than normal, I immediately expect the worst. I park on the 6th floor, but I don't normally take the elevator in the parking structure at my work... partially due to the fact that I'm trying to get in better shape so I park all the way at the top and take the stairs and partially due to the fact that it makes all sorts of weird jerks and screeches. On Friday I was walking out to the parking structure and I saw a co-worker of mine with her arms full of empty boxes trying to hit the button for the elevator. I thought I'd give her a hand and hit the button. To further assist her I entered the elevator when the doors opened so I could select her floor for her too. I figured, I may as well take the elevator now since I'm already on it. We got to her floor at level 3, she exited and all seemed normal. The moment the doors closed behind her, BANG, the elevator jerked upwards like it have been hit from below by something. I pass floor 4 with weird grinding sounds. Floor 5. Grind and squealing. As we approach the 6th floor the elevator slows down. Way down. It seemed as though the elevator was scratching and clawing it's way up the last few feet. BANG. The elevator came to a stop and the doors began to open. Very slowly. I noticed that the elevator had not quite made it all the way up, it was about 4 or 5 inches lower than the floor. I jumped out as quickly as possible and vowed to never use the elevator again.

During this adventure, my eyes were affixed to the inspection certificated displayed on the elevator. Yup, it expired 6 months ago.

Culinary Conundrum

The commercial for DiGiorno oven pizzas slogan goes; "It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno." That's just annoying. I don't know anyone who would confuse an oven baked pizza for a pizza delivered from a pizza parlor. I want to open a chain of pizza parlors that cooks DiGiorno pizzas and delivers them. It's DiGiorno AND delivery. I'm pretty sure if that happened a black hole would form the moment the front door was opened.

Have you ever wondered what kind of footwear a Native American would wear on a job interview? Well wonder no more. Here we have the dress moccasin. Sure, you want to use every part of the animal, but that doesn't mean that you want to sacrifice style and professionalism.